"Be A Man?"

As a whole, we in society have a tendency to “sweep things under the rug,” so to speak, and completely suppress underlying issues and problems with our world, and this was just as true for the men and women of the 1950’s and 1960’s. Although reasons for suppression of the issues may change, there will probably always be problems of unjustness, inequality, or corruptness in our world in which we as a whole in society try to suppress or look over. Maybe it’s because we don’t want change, or maybe it’s because we are afraid to admit that we are wrong and that things do need to change, but whatever the reason, these problems exist. And eventually, they tend to rise up from under our metaphorical rug, and present themselves in a rather blunt manner. In the 1960’s, it was Betty Friedan’s book, The Feminine Mystique, in which fully unearthed the problems existing in that time period for white, middle-class, women. In today’s day in age we have all new sets of issues and problems in which we suppress everyday simply by not going against the grain and taking a stand against the problem.

One of the problems within America’s society today, and probably within other societies as well, in which we have continued to suppress for quite some time now is the issue of male violence. Last semester here at Arkansas Tech University, campus had a Red Ribbon Week, in order to bring awareness to abusive relationships, and not only that, but violence as a whole. In going to the Red Ribbon Week meeting one evening, I learned a lot of information about violence in America that I had never known before. I had always known that violence was a big issue in not only our country, but the world, and yet still had no realization that most of the violent crimes committed in America are done so by men. The biggest problem is that even if I did know this fact, I never questioned why it was so. And I would assume that most Americans probably do the same, and so our issues and problems go untouched and overlooked. By watching the video documentary Tough Guise, a film made in 1999 about the cultural view of men in America, I learned that there is a huge connection between pop-cultural imagery and the social construction of masculine identities in the U.S. The film identifies the link in violence in the U.S. committed by men, and the social norms we associate with men. The main speaker in the film, Jackson Katz, is an anti-violence educator, and in the film he talks about all of the ways in which we as a society have enhanced the view of masculinity with stereotypical characteristics of men claiming “real men” should be tough, large in size and muscle mass, physically and emotionally strong, a fighter, and a leader. What we end up finding because of the unrealistic expectations is that these “real men” show these characteristics through violent acts. The opening clips and quotes to the film were those from news reports of battered women in the U.S. along with movies, television shows, and sports games in which men are portrayed as aggressive and violent showing no pain, emotion, or feelings. Movies like “Rambo,” “The Terminator,” and others, as well as video games, television shows and sports games portray men as big, mean, and dangerous showing no emotions whatsoever; therefore, creating a “tough disguise” and harsh portrayal of men and how a “real man” should act. Katz makes a very distinct connection between our society’s drive to create “tough guys,” and the real life man who is dangerous, abusive, and murderous. He describes to us that we as a society (men and women) only allow and further the success of these “tough guys” portrayals and because of this expectation placed on the everyday man, we as a society are turning out men left and right who are dangerous, mean, abusive, terrorists, and murderous. The violence we are allowing and condoning in the media today is giving our men in America the idea that being a “tough guy” is being a “real man,” and if a man isn’t a “tough guy,” he is given characteristics of weakness and femininity. The truth is that men in America commit 85% of murders, 90% of assaults, 95% of domestic violence, 95% of dating violence, 95% of child sexual abuse, and 99.8% of rapes. Not only are men committing these acts, but it is also men that are more greatly affected by these acts. That’s right. While women are being abused, beaten, raped, and killed every day, those in society who are being victimized most by men are OTHER men. Men are taught to be "tough guys," and accordingly 90% of the violence in the U.S. is perpetrated by men.

One might ask why we have let this corruption go on for so long, but the truth is that the media produces what they feel society will pay money to see, watch, and play. They aren’t producing the violence, only perpetuating it. In the end, it takes a change, possibly even a rude awakening, in order for people to wake up. More than that, it takes every individual deciding for their self that he or she will no longer take part in the perpetuation of this viscous cycle of violence. It takes people, both men and women, standing up and calling people out to make a difference. As WOMEN AND MEN OF GOD, we should be able to stand up against this injustice. WOMEN, stop falling for the “bad guys!!!” I can promise you that they cannot offer you all of the wonderful and beautiful things that God wants you to have in a husband. MEN, stop treating your guy friends and/or other men in general like they are “women” for showing their emotions, feelings, and vulnerability!! Be the better person, and stand up against teasing, bullying, name-calling, and injustice! As Christians, we are called to live a holier life than this, and while MOST people in society, Christian or not, are guilty of perpetuating stereotypes, we as followers of Christ, should realize that true worth, man or woman, does not come from who society says you are or are not, but from God alone, so why then would we ever treat someone else like they are less than the beautiful person God created them to be?